Where Does The Time Go?

The past few weeks have felt manic to me. While I have had two blog posts sitting in my head waiting to be written for weeks, I find myself (not unusually) trying to be everything to everyone- while the posts stay in my head instead of on the blog. The reason I bring this up is that this is hardly the first time that what I want to get done gets pushed to the side for the needs of others. And I'm sure it won't be the last. While this might sound like a whine to some, I think that most pilates instructors can also relate to the fact that actually, I don't mind AT ALL. I like being the helper. Helpers are valuable members of society- there should probably be more of us! It makes me wonder... How common is this personality trait within our industry?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1vQJFF2TKQ

Our desire to help people was probably a motivating factor for many of us gaining our teaching qualification in the first place. The drive to help others move forward in their bodies is what makes us wonderful teachers and what makes the pilates world wonderful. We think about our clients in our down time. We are excited when we attend conferences and we know EXACTLY the person that will benefit directly from what we have just learned. Most of us want to make a difference in the lives of others and if that means that we miss out on our usual afternoon off, just this one time, to help out- is that really so bad? The giving nature is definitely a positive attribute at work but to what extent are we putting ourselves last within the industry? Funnily enough this was a major inspiration for creating this blog in the first place!

I have seen this behaviour affect the amount of personal work out time I give to myself. To the point that it feels like weeks since I've done the footwork series and truly taken time to breathe. Have you ever demonstrated an exercise to a client and felt jealous that they are the one having the pilates session instead of you? Lately my brain has felt so tired that all I want to do is kick back and relax with my inner circle. I could go and treat myself to the rollback series on the cadillac but that would mean that I would have to go to my workplace where I already feel as though I have been living. I know that I want to nurture this blog space and it is something very important to me- but it can feel like there isn't any more space to give. When work colleagues are unwell or it is a time at the studio where all hands on deck are required, I WANT to help. I don't want to say no. It takes an awful lot before resentment kicks in but I admit- I have been resentful in the past.

Many years ago I remember Brent Anderson posing the question:

Do you want to be a pilates enthusiast or a pilates instructor?

I want it all! And I want to be a great friend and I want to be an excellent employee and I want to be a wonderful girlfriend and I want to be a loving daughter and I want to be a responsible pet owner and I want to be... everything to everyone.

One day, I will get the balance right. I have booked my private sessions in regularly with my friend (that I don't work with- very important). I will truly believe that I can say no and that, that is okay. I will find a time to treat myself this week. I will let myself off the hook.

NYC- where to next?

My fascination with Kathleen Stanford Grant began many years ago when Pilates Style magazine did a feature on Kathy Grant's cats. I thought it was really interesting that she loved and was so inspired by cats that it influenced her teaching style so much. I remember trying to incorporate some of the versions of her cats into my mat classes at the time (but I don't think I got it quite right). When I visited New York in 2007 I spent some time with Roberta Kirschenbaum at her studio Rolates Pilates. She told me that I should come along and observe her having her own personal pilates class with Kathy Grant at NYU. I was so excited- I'm sure you can imagine how devastated I was when I couldn't find the building in time- especially when Kathy passed in 2010 and I realised I had missed my opportunity to meet her.

So the years passed and Blossom Leilani Crawford was invited to the 2013 PAA conference here in Sydney. This was the perfect opportunity to learn more about this pilates elder I was so intrigued by. After attending her workshops at the conference I was a fan of Blossom- independent of her amazing connection with Kathy.

Blossom's sense of humour while teaching is so great and I loved the feeling of connection to the tiny deep muscles (of the shoulder especially) with some of the very intricate exercises. When it came to deciding on a second person to spend my time with while visiting New York this time around, there really wasn't any question of it being anyone but Blossom!

The Confused Pilates Instructor

There was some pretty heavy personal stuff going on in 2012. A troublesome year shall we say. When I would come home exhausted or dread the sound of the alarm in the morning my (wonderful) career took the blame. I began to consider whether I could still do this- could I still give to my clients the way I used to? I started to look elsewhere to keep my finances ticking over...

I looked to lululemon athletica. I looked, to a job in retail.

Please.

At the end of 2011 I had worked for them as a Christmas casual.... I thought it would be fun, I wouldn't have to think about anything when I got home I could just switch off and relax. The hardest thing I would have to do would be to explain the benefits of one tank top over the other. Think of the staff discount! Perfect right?

Thankfully I didn't see it through. I changed the structure of my week and things were fine for a while.

Don't get me wrong, I've always loved teaching people pilates but as I approached ten years I was asking what next? A few people offered me their business for sale. Two of them I seriously considered but in the end, big studio ownership wasn't the right path for me. I considered the Franklin Method course, some sort of career in psychology, massage, aromatherapy, gyrokinesis... But at the end of the day I've always known my real passion is people and pilates. SO what the hell was I looking for?

When my initial plan to go to New York to participate in the FAMI course (four days of anatomy study with cadavers) didn't work out I thought I should go anyway and spend some time taking private classes and doing some observation like I did back in 2007. Good move.

I needed to spend some time with someone amazing. Someone with years of experience, a perspective different to mine, someone dedicated to the work. I chose the amazing Deborah Lessen. Excellent move.

It's finally time to share

As a new blogger, I'm having a little trouble with the whole analysis paralyis thing. Which website will work better for me, what template should I use, generally "how the hell does this thing work!".

Then there are the hangups closely related to being a pilates instructor; striving for perfection, I haven't got time and of course the big one... do I know what I'm talking about before I make this public?

But I'm determined to make a go of this because I truly believe that there is a place for the Spirited Pilates Blog. I really believe that Pilates Instructors do need an online community and that I can facilitate that with some light hearted discussion about the things that interest us. So over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting stuff from my time away in New York. I do realise that it would have been much more fun if I had done this at the time- but I have my excuses listed above. Better late than never!

A Little Bit About Me

I started pilates in November 2000. I was 19 and had given up my regular dance classes at my suburban dance studio, embraced partying with my friends and chilli cheese fries and had gotten a little chubby- I didn't know how this had happened (although glaringly obvious now!) but I knew it wasn't quite right for me and that I needed to get moving. In my quest to figure myself out, I started pilates. I had only heard about pilates while reading dance magazines and online but I loved it as soon as I got started. I thought my instructors were amazing. Their knowledge of the human body astounded me and I trusted them implicitly. I looked up to one of my instructors Robyn in particular. She had a bird like quality about her- delicate looking but strong. She seemed so wise and when she stopped teaching at the studio I was devastated! Thankfully, I soon realised that all of the instructors had something different yet equally valuable to offer (something I wish all clients would discover).

After dropping out of my university course and knowing that my job at a mortgage company was not where I wanted my future to lie, I decided to enrol into my pilates studio's in house instructors programme. The idea was that this would be a time filler (for some reason, I didn't think I would be able to have a career as a pilates instructor at that time) until the naturopathy course I was interested in would commence the following year.

I find this scenario completely laughable in hindsight as the prospect of me doing anything other than teach pilates for a living seems ridiculous- I LOVED pilates! I was that annoying person correcting my colleagues seated posture and suggesting that continuously gripping their butt was a bad idea. Completely uninvited commentary from someone who was still just a client!

So July 2003 was my turning point. Each Wednesday morning I would turn up to the studio to be introduced to more repertoire while during the rest of the week I was either working on my own practice or chipping away at my 500 hours of observation and assisting. I was so at home. In 2004 I began teaching mat classes and in 2005 I was teaching 3-4 clients on the apparatus in a studio- WOW!

As the years rolled on I shifted between being over-confident, enrolling in endless continuing education workshops, nervous of my abilities, excited about new repertoire, energised, fatigued- you name it! In 2009 I decided to re-certify with Polestar Pilates. It was the best decision of my career. Not only did it provide me with the structured learning I craved but also the most wonderful sense of community. In 2010 I was invited to join their mentoring programme and I was thrilled!

What soon became clear was the my desire to guide and empower people is actually where my passion lies. Pilates is the amazing tool I use to achieve this. Mentoring has been the most fulfilling extension of teaching. I love the questions that get thrown my way and really challenge the reasons I do things around the studio, it keeps me accountable to myself and to the students and has improved the way I teach profoundly.

What I hope to achieve from this blog is a sense of community. To create a space where pilates instructors from every training school, new or teaching for many years have resources and a space to be nurtured, be listened to and be supported.

Pilates instructors can't help but talk about their clients, new and preferred variations of exercises and the work in general- so there will be a place for this. But for the most part, this blog isn't about what you need to give to your clients. It is about looking after ourselves and each other. I'm open to suggestions and feedback about what everybody else needs to get off their chest. This isn't a place for judgement in either direction (I hope!) but support for the members of a beautiful community.